The pain decides most. Fatigue the rest. The decline goes so fast it's scary.
Now I have been here on Lovisenberg since Thursday. It has been good to be here, and I'm getting good help. I did not want to go away from the family at Easter.
I am thinking that this is my last Easter, and I really want to be with my family, but when my form is so bad, and I do not have so much to offer, it's best to be here. I'm allowed to go on leave, and Easter Eve, I was at home. This year we celebrated the day with our neighbor on the first floor.
The kids had a good time with the Easter egg hunt and treasure hunt. Fun to see everyone from the youngest of 4 years to the oldest of 15 worked together to solve the riddles. It was a nice day. Sad that it ended so abruptly for me. Suddenly my body just couldn't keep up any longer.
I just wanted to sleep, even though the time was barely eight. Since then I have almost only been sleeping. I'm all out of energy, and my body is completely exhausted. Last night I could not endure the ride back, so I slept at home. It's not fun to be so tired that I can't keep up with things, and it's scary my shape is declining so fast.
I came back to Lovisenberg at about 12 o-clock. And I slept almost the whole time since. I hope that I will soon have a little more energy, and I also get rid of the pain soon, they come and go all the time. Now I have turned up a bit on the basic medication, and I hope it starts to help.
The next big question is whether I should accept the next round of chemo. We have begun to address the issue with doctors and nurses here. I'm not quite ready to make the choice yet, I need more time.
There are still a few days left until Thursday, and it could be that the form is a little better then. Now I take one day at a time.