24 June, 2013

The end is near

I'm sitting in the living room on my chair. I have my family around me. All that remains now is the end.

I go in and out of life. Sometimes I get lost in a daze. While I'm away, I hear everything that is said. It is weird. Feels like an intoxication, the body is completely gone, I can not do anything, just exist. Sometimes it lasts longer, sometimes shorter. It comes more often now.

The disease is in its final stage. I hurt both mentally and physically. I can take pills for the pain, so I do not hurt. I have family here around me and get the help I need, and that is good.

But the pain in my heart no one can take away. The pain and sorrow because I have to say goodbye to everyone. All those I am fond of pain and grief that no one can understand, no one can take away.

Why! Why me.

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